Have you ever loved some one or something so much that it just consumes you? That is how i feel about my family i know weired huh for those of you who really know me this is an odd thing i know. But i was watching a movie last night and it was about a mother who was dying of breast cancer and she and her teenage daughter were affraid that they wouldnt ever really know each other anyway it was sad so when i went in to tuck all my kids in to bed i just look at them sleeping and cant help but to feel so much love for them that it just consumes me for a minute. You know how there are girls or women out there that say " I know that i was born to be a mother." well thats not me at all i didnt ever feel that way but i dont think that you have to feel that way to wanna just be a mom, I think that it is awesome that women feel that way dont get me wrong but those of you who know me know thats not me at all!! But lately I look up to those women who just know i am so nervouse about raising my kids in this world it scares me. Every night when i go in to tuck in averi I just sit and look at her, i find myself loving her so much it hurts and at the same time saying a little prayer for her that she will be so strong in this world that i brought her into, that she can make it and be so strong, but mostly to stand up for what we believe I just think that its gonna be so much scarier for them!!! Well i dont really know the reason for this blog except for the fact that i just had these thoughts and i wanted to share them!!
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